2021 Anti-Valentine’s Day Playlist
You know, for the rest of us
Prepare to feel the feels with thirty tunes, specifically chosen for this wonderful day of love.
Here you’ll find tales of broken hearts, cheaters, unrequited feelings, loneliness, despair, betrayal, revenge, and the like. Basically, all the obvious February 14 themes.
In no particular order, other than spreading out bands and level of despair, which I have rated on a scale of 1–5 broken hearts, these are my go-to songs. Whether you’re feeling heartbroken, vengeful, or somewhere in between, there’s a song for that.
Did I leave off your favorite? Miss an obvious choice? Add it in the comments. Let’s keep the soundtrack going.
“Love Stinks” J. Geils Band
Best Line:
You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else. You just can’t win.
Why It Made the Cut:
Really? “Love Stinks” is the anti v-day anthem. Although there is no order for this list, what else can go first? Unlike every other song on this list, I only listen to “Love Stinks” this time of year. Otherwise, it’s like listening to Christmas music in June, you know? Not one of my favorites, but it wouldn’t be v-day without it.
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“I Hate Everything About You” Three Days Grace
Best Line:
I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?
Why It Made the Cut:
You read the title, right? Really, though. This is a prime example of a toxic relationship, loving someone and hating that you love this person. I see this as hating what someone does or how it makes you feel, yet loving him/her despite this. And being pissed about that fact. Given Adam’s past addictions, this could easily be translated to a drug dependence. Hating everything about what addiction does to you, yet you’re powerless to it — thus loving it. Adam’s voice was amazing back then. No matter how you look at it, this is a Feb. 14 staple and a song I have been obsessed with for nearly twenty years.
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“Snuff” Slipknot
Best Line:
If you still care, don’t ever let me know
Why It Made the Cut:
I have an unhealthy obsession with this song. Any day is a good day for “Snuff,” but it specifically made this list due to these incredible, painful lyrics. The build-up throughout the whole song is absolute perfection, both lyrically and musically. The song is a masterpiece, and it hurts to see it hiding behind this band, who comes across as scary psychos. I wouldn’t call myself a huge fan of Slipknot beyond their singles, but once you get past the look, there’s some depth there, and this song is the perfect example of their range.
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“A Letter to Ashley” Your Broken Hero
Best Line:
the jealousy was mentally draining me from my misery
Why It Made the Cut:
By far the most recent song on the list, “Letters to Ashley” has basically been on a loop in my head since I heard it about a week ago. Somehow, I’d missed the “felt emo might delete” videos on YouTube for two years. Now, I’m obsessed. Whether you consider this a parody of the genre or a legit song, it is both awesome and worthy of this list. And getting a “like” on my fangirl tweet by the man himself is single-handedly carrying me through the month. I’m giving it five broken hearts because it’s emo and it feels necessary, but it feels more like a 2–3 to me.
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“Closure” Chevelle
Best Line:
Like a leech, I hold on as if we belonged to some precious pure dream
Why It Made the Cut:
Let’s face it. Unrequited is the absolute loneliest of all the loves. So to really capture the anti v-day spirit, any song revolving around unrequited love and collapsing relationships deserves a place on this list. And the vocal performance of “Closure” is one of my favorites at portraying devastation, namely the delivery of the line above (and the lyrics themselves, the quoted one above being one of my favorite lyrics ever). Like other songs in the list, “Closure” shows despair but also anger with the shift in the vocals toward the end.
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“No Room in Frame” Death Cab for Cutie
Best Line:
I guess it’s not a failure we could help, and we’ll both go on to get lonely with someone else
Why It Made the Cut:
There is nothing better than a music-lyric discrepancy, when the style of the music doesn’t fit the lyrics. The perfect example of this is “Chandelier” by Sia. While not quite as drastic, “No Room in Frame” is one of these songs. On the surface, it’s a peppy, poppy song, but the lyrics paint of picture of lost love and how things fell apart. Great, great lyrics over a super catchy tune. Ben Gibbard is my favorite male vocalist. His voice is absolute perfection to me. AND such a talented lyricist, with imagery for days.
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“Always the Last to Know” Del Amitri
Best Line:
Although we share the same city and feel the same sun, when your winter comes, I’ll be the last to know
Why It Made the Cut:
Most of what I said about the previous song applies here. But this time we have lost love, infidelity, jealousy, and longing. I love the first line, “So you’re in love with someone else.” Boom, I’m invested. More people need to be aware of this hidden gem. So, so catchy. The 90s were a great era of music.
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“Black” Pearl Jam
Best Line:
I know you’ll be a star in someone else’s sky, but why can’t it be mine?
Why It Made the Cut:
First of all, Eddie Vedder has no equal. One of the greatest voices of all time. When it comes to this song, Eddie brought the feels. He brought the pain. Eddie, who hurt you? From a music standpoint, the melody is strong. I must say, my favorite part of “Black” are actually the growls. Those are absolutely delicious. The ending goes on too long in my opinion. I understand the style choice (especially in the Unplugged version), but it’s still too long. I probably just lost a few of you. Looking beyond that, lyrically, come on. The line I quoted? Enough said.
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“Song for the Dumped” Ben Folds Five
Best Line:
I wish I hadn’t bought you dinner right before you dumped me on your front porch
Why It Made the Cut:
To switch things up a bit, let’s get an angry perspective rather than someone wallowing. Ben Folds is an awesome musician and one of my favorite human beings, so maybe I was swayed in my decision. But you can’t argue this selection. It’s doesn’t get any more Valentine’s Day than “Song For the Dumped.” And this is easily the funniest song on the list.
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“Not in That Way” Sam Smith
Best Line:
You will never know that feeling, you will never see through these eyes
Why It Made the Cut:
“Not the Only One” is a more obvious choice from Sam perhaps, but this one hits so much deeper. His delivery sounds so personal, raw, and honest. The pipes on this guy! When he’s singing this with that British Angel voice of his, I believe every word he says. The pain! Love it. Plus, unrequited songs are my favorite, so this is a total win. It totally represents the one-sided doom.
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“There’s a Place” All American Rejects
Best Line:
All I wanted was to be wanted by you
Why It Made the Cut:
Aside from the major feels of the chorus, I have a personal connection to this track, since the entire vibe of the song (and the music video) closely matches some characters in my unpublished novel. So for that reason, it’s a special one. But I think these lyrics are fitting for the list. It’s pretty simple, musically, with a universal theme. There’s just something so matter-of-fact about the delivery. A quiet kind of pain.
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“Cumbersome” Seven Mary Three
Best Line:
She’s wanting me less and I’m wanting her more.
Why It Made the Cut:
Love the song. Hate the album art. “Cumbersome” has a bit of a different flavor than the rest. Those raspy vocals are perfect for this kind of song, and that bass solo before the bridge is definitely a highlight for me. Seemingly not a v-day song, but lyrically, it deserves to be here, if only for the line above.
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“Walking on Broken Glass” Annie Lennox
Best Line:
Everyone of us was made to suffer. Everyone of us was made to weep.
Why It Made the Cut:
Runner-up: “I’m living in an empty room.” Similar to some of the other tracks in the list, this is a painful story put over a radio-friendly, catchy tune. If you were to read the lyrics on their own, you wouldn’t think it would sound this way. And I love that. It’s also nice to get the female perspective. This is a very manly list, I’m afraid. Side note: this music video is a must-watch, featuring Hugh Laurie and John Malkovich.
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“Hate Me (Acoustic)” Blue October
Best Line:
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
Why It Made the Cut:
This is one of the saddest songs I’ve ever heard. The acoustic version blows the original into a black hole, never to be heard again. The pain in these lyrics. It was way too hard to choose a “best line” with so many stand-outs. (Although, the one I chose doesn’t really fit the v-day vibe I’m going for.) And the delivery, sung live like this. The feeling is so palpable, and it’s like the experience that inspired the song, which he explains a bit in the video, happened yesterday. I need more songs like this is my life. Just that complete bare-your-soul kind of song.
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“Addicted” Lit
Best Line:
I wrap myself around her little finger and she gives me the middle one
Why It Made the Cut:
After “Hate Me,” we really need a pick-me-up. Lit to the rescue. This song is like, “I just woke up and realized you suck” after having missed all the signs. And apparently not caring about being a doormat? A fun little song and perhaps a breath of fresh air in all the depression surrounding it.
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“Dressed to Kill” New Found Glory
Best Line:
You’re not here and I can’t stop pretending that you’re forever mine
Why It Made the Cut:
Another not-so-obvious choice, maybe because it’s so peppy, but simply put, it shows the aftermath of a break-up. That’s good enough for me! I’ve always been a fan of “Dressed to Kill.” What’s interesting about these lyrics is how they seem like they should come from the woman’s perspective, right? Namely, “I can’t wake anymore in your arms.” I’m all about smashing gender stereotypes, but this still stands out to me.
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“Creep” Radiohead
Best Line:
I want you to notice when I’m not around
Why It Made the Cut:
Another unrequited song? You bet. This one has a simple message. “You are so far out of my league, and I’m bummed about it.” Needless to say, Thom says it much better. He has quite a voice, doesn’t he? Those drawn out “run”s are amazing. While the song as a whole is great, the “best line” I quoted above is what sets this one apart (other than the fact it’s Radiohead). Instead of wanting to be seen, it’s more wanting to acknowledge not being seen. Missing me when I’m gone is more powerful than knowing I’m here.
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“I Don’t Care” Apocalyptica feat. Adam Gontier
Best Line:
I try to make it through my life, in my way, there’s you
Why It Made the Cut:
Four words: Adam. Gontier. And. Strings. Like a few of the other tracks, “I Don’t Care” blends pain and anger well. Is this coming from a place of desperation or rage? Initially, you think rage. I mean, listen to the vocals, not to mention the title. Is the blurred line because of Adam’s voice in general? If someone else sang this, would it be clear?
Does it really matter? The song is awesome.
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“I Don’t Love You” My Chemical Romance
Best Line:
obvious, but
when you go, would you even turn to say, “I don’t love you like I did yesterday”
Why It Made the Cut:
I like My Chemical Romance, not to the point where I cried when they broke up or anything but I did preorder the Funko Pop for The Black Parade, so. There’s that. I am a huge fan of this album from start to finish. As for this song, based on the title alone, we have an obvious choice. Gerard Way has the kind of voice you either love or hate. He does his own thing, and he does it well. You have to give him that. One of their best songs for sure. It has an almost other era feel to it, in the structure and chord progression. If you can get past the vocals, you’ll see what I mean. Lyrically, maybe not as strong as some others in this list, but Gerard sure knows how to bring the feels.
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“Wicked Game” HIM
Best Line:
what a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
Why It Made the Cut:
A cover, yes. But of the countless versions of “Wicked Game,” this is my favorite. (Corey Taylor and Adam Gontier both do awesome renditions as well. Definitely check those out.) I was never a fan of the original, but all these covers are amazing at conveying the feeling of the song. To me, “Wicked Game” takes on a new life when sung this way. Ville Valo nails these vocals. Nails them. I love that man.
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“Vermillion Pt. 2” Slipknot
Best Line:
I won’t let this build up inside of me
Why It Made the Cut:
So this lyric is most of the song, so it seems like a cop-out answer. But it’s the way that it’s sung that makes it memorable, almost like a mantra, or trying to make yourself believe what you’re saying. I love how they add the harmonies, and at the end, how it’s layered. So effective at conveying the message of the words. This one easily fits into the unrequited category, which makes it an instant favorite of mine. While it doesn’t touch “Snuff,” this song is amazing, so full of feels. And of course, brilliantly brought to life by Corey Taylor. Another prime example of the depth hidden behind some masks.
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“Nothing Compares 2 U” Chris Cornell
Best Line:
It’s been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away
Why It Made the Cut:
Yes, I know. This is not Chris’s song, but he slays it. Hands down, this is the best version. He had such a great tone to his voice, and this showcases that perfectly. As for the song itself, I’ve always loved that first line, the specificity of it. That’s a broken heart talking.
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“Emotionless” Red Sun Rising
Best Line:
You’re sculpture with a pulse
Why It Made the Cut:
I’ve read different interpretations of “Emotionless,” but I get major “A Rose For Emily” vibes from this. Maybe I’ve been watching too much true crime, but this sure sounds like a stalker-abduction-murder-possession situation. I could be way off. The lyrics fit though. Like, “I’ve killed you, now I’m going to stare at you. And sing about it.” Whatever it’s about, it’s an awesome song. Soft, creepy into. Powerhouse vocals. The build throughout. Intriguing lyrics. I love it.
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“All the Same” Sick Puppies
Best Line:
Go ahead say it, you’re leaving. You’ll just come back running, holding your scarred heart in hand
Why It Made the Cut:
I. Love. This. Song. Repeat, repeat, repeat. You may know this one since it was used in that viral “Free Hugs” video back in the day. “All the Same” also has a personal connection for the same reason as “There’s a Place.” (Both are so closely tied to a novel that I wrote, so I think of my characters when I hear this.) Without that link, it’s still an amazing song, and one of my favorites of all time. I’m hoping that this will be the one “new” song in the list for readers to discover. This band is seriously underrated. Lyrically, I love the addictive side of a relationship, whether it be a healthy one or not, and how it gives a person power over the other. Love that. It’s a theme touched on in a few selections here, but not as well.
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“Black Sun” Death Cab for Cutie
Best Line:
There’s a dumpster in the driveway for all the plans that came undone
Why It Made the Cut:
I also think these lines are worth mentioning: “There is hope within despair/there is beauty in a failure.” The album Kintsugi was heavily influenced by Ben Gibbard’s divorce from Zoey Deschanel. There is no question that pain makes the best art. (“Everything’s a Ceiling” is also an awesome tune from the album and almost made the list.) I see this one as a broken heart hiding behind a driving beat. Heart pun unintentional.
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“You Oughta Know” Alanis Morissette
Best Line:
I want you to know that I’m happy for you. I wish nothing but the best for you both.
Why It Made the Cut:
Ooo, angry girl alert. I gave this one only one broken heart, because she is far more mad than sad here. I don’t get the sense she’s eating ice cream of the carton, you know what I mean? She’s really belting it out. I’ve always liked her voice. This track shows her range, plus her unhinged tendencies. :) I chose the first line as the best, just because there is not a more untrue statement in any of these songs. Another highlight is the great bass line that is completely overshadowed by these vocals. For shame.
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“The Night We Met” Lord Huron
Best Line:
I had of all you, most of you, some, and now none of you
Why It Made the Cut:
I first heard this on “Thirteen Reasons Why” and wish I hadn’t. It will forever be tied to that in my mind, and I feel like it lessens its overall greatness. This song is way too short, so I usually listen to it twice. It’s so dreamy with that beginning and the vocals have that echo-y effect on them. It works. I love the story here. Having something, losing it, and living in the past as a result. The line I chose is like the gradual effect of having someone slip away. Beautiful.
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“Gives You Hell” All-American Rejects
Best Line:
Truth be told, I miss you. Truth be told, I’m lying.
Why It Made the Cut:
The last time Tyson Ritter was on this list, he was singing from the heart, a sincere love letter. This one? Snark. Perfect, beautiful snark. This song is a big middle finger to all past relationships, where you are obviously the better person, you’ve come out stronger (or maybe escaped!), and you’re not wasting a second before rubbing that in.
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“Somebody That I Used to Know” Gotye
Best Line:
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over, but had me believing it was always some that I’d done
Why It Made the Cut:
This may be the most overrated song on the list, simply because it was everywhere when it first came out, and I think people just got sick of it. But what this song does really well is show two sides of a relationship, and more importantly, how there are two sides to every story. We’re made to sympathize with the guy in the first verse, but oh, wait. The girl comes in and paints a very different picture for us. He’s not so innocent. So the best line for me is the first line of the female’s verse that puts him in his place. Great, great song all around, even though seriously overplayed.
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“Last to Know” Three Days Grace
Best Line:
I’ll be the first to say that now I’m OK and for the first time, I’ve opened up my eyes
Why It Made the Cut:
Ooo, the pain. Beautiful, beautiful pain. I love the piano-vocal combo, and those harmonies are fantastic. BUT what really kicks this song up a notch is the switch in the last chorus. Out of the ashes of this horrible betrayal comes a sense of strength. Adam’s voice is amazing in this one, and he really captures the despair and the empowerment. It’s perfect.
I wanted to end the playlist on a motivational note. (Despite the 5 broken hearts below.)
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An Honorary #31
“Konstantine” Something Corporate
I’m leaving this off the official playlist only because it’s an almost 10 minute song, but I urge you to check it out because it’s a work of art and definitely worthy of this list.
That does it. I know there are plenty of songs that deserve to be included here. I either don’t know they exist, forgot about them, or they’re not my taste. I can already think of a few I’d like to add, but this is getting pretty long. So if you feel compelled, add your picks below. As long as they portray love as painful in any sense of the word, they’re welcome here.
For those interested, here’s the full playlist on Spotify.
Thanks for hanging out with me.
